If I were straight
I wouldn’t have the “oh, he’s gay?—that’s so fine!—I love gay people!” comments when I go to people’s
apartments,
I wouldn’t have to “come out” at some point to every person in my life.
those “That’s so gay” comments
I wouldn’t ask my voice “Do I sound gay?”
My sexuality wouldn’t be a second person in the room that everyone, including myself, glances at every
couple of minutes.
My wardrobe wouldn’t define my being—
my preference for gym shorts and t-shirts
wouldn’t be compared to my preference for men,
as if I’m supposed to wear something that says “Gay” on it,
because “Aren’t you supposed to know fashion?”
My music choices of Florence + The Machine and Lana Del Rey wouldn’t be a mark of my sexuality—
which is to say, anything that’s not male-dominated rap and rock is gay.
My romantic nature wouldn’t be a product of my sexuality—
which is to say,
love is gay.
My enjoyment of football and basketball wouldn’t be met with confusion—
which is to say, sports are exclusive to masculinity—
which is to say,
femininity is gay—
which is to say,
women and homosexual men are the “Other”
and the same.

If I were straight
I would be able to exhibit feminine qualities without people wondering if I’m “bottom”—
which is to say,
to be feminine is “bottom”
to be feminine is submissive—
which is to say,
to be masculine is to be “top,”
to be masculine is to be dominant—
and women and homosexual men are the “Other” and the same.
I would be able to have straight male friends who don’t question my “true feelings” towards them
I would be able to tell the people that I find attractive my true feelings for them
without making a situation awkward and facing the heartbreak of “I’m straight”
or losing a friend
or losing multiple friends
or destroying potential friendships—
which is to say,
“yes I like you.
No I can’t change that. I’m sorry.
I love you. Please don’t hate me”—
which is to say,
I’m forced to be a liar or alone—
which is to say,
I would be able to have gay friends without people thinking we’re in a relationship—
which is to say,
“Get over the straight boy, I found a gay guy!”
which is to say,
love is gay.
I would be able to lay my arm around my partner’s shoulder in public—
which is to say,
gayness is private within the hetero-public.
I wouldn’t have to refer to them as my “partner” for my own safety.
I would be allowed to hold their hand and to kiss them outside without fear of being a victim
which is to say,
gay love is a crime subject to vigilante justice,
and as we discovered before—
love is gay.
I would be allowed to fall in love

which is to say,
my love was never his to own,
because, as we discovered before,
love is gay—

which is to say
If I were straight

I would be allowed to be gay.